During the summer, Haylee went to Spain for a study abroad trip where at the end of her binge drinking fest she developed a self diagnosed case of acute bronchitis. Hilarity ensued when she consulted Celia, who at the time was a (Haylee) proclaimed doctor. A.k.a a lab technician and barely possessing a bachelors degree. All testament to Haylee’s general trust or more sardonically here inattention to current medical standards of practice.
Haylee I think I have a respiratory problem
Celia How so?
Haylee remember how i coughed for the entire month of may? well it’s the same cough but it’s fucking painful and strenuous
Celia Coughs can take up to 8 weeks to go away and that’s if you don’t get sick again. You could have gotten sick again, even just allergies and it could have exacerbated it. Don’t you have asthma? That would explain it all. Change in climate, asthma and a recent cough.
Haylee I have wait for it, “seasonal asthma” oh man. I have been smoking like a sixties housewife and have not slept since june
Celia See, no respiratory problems. All normal reactions to treating your body like an Italian rental car. You need to take it easy when you get back
Haylee so i should hire serfs to do my heavy lifting?
In reflection, Celia isn’t qualified to dish out medical advice…even under the influence of certain libations. Why Haylee would ever consult such a flaccid, lifeless savant such as Celia is…. in retrospect why Haylee finds herself in many random and typically hysterical situations. The life lesson here is to get some real goddamn friends, with real goddamn jobs, and qualifications; however, that sounds exhausting and wholly non-stimulating. As a well known theologian once told Celia: “birds of a feather flock together and water seeks its own level,” and we are…..fucked.